According to John Gottman, an American psychotherapist and founder of The Gottman Institute, usually couples wait for six years before going to their first couple therapy. Approximately 50 percent of married couples, that were addressed to a therapist, solve relationship difficulties. To our opinion, there is no reason to wait 6 years, if the couple has problems, but would like to continue their relationship, it is strictly recommended to ask for qualified help. So 3 practicing couple therapists kindly agreed to contribute their wisdom about What 3 Main Problems Can Therapy Help With?
Cara Gardenswartz, Ph.D. founded Group Therapy LA in 2001, a diversified practice treating individuals, couples, children and groups. In addition to managing a clinical practice, Cara actively consults with media as part of APA’s Media Referral Services. Cara completed her BA at University of Pennsylvania and her Doctorate in Psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles where she has taught abnormal Psychology, conducted empirical research and published in academic journals.
Communication breakdowns can include, blaming each other, shutting off/avoiding conversations, arguing, using a loud tone, and lack of eye contact. Negative communication can leave one partner feeling depressed, insecure, and disregarded. Sometimes it’s hard for couples to know how to talk to each other, especially when 1 or both people feel like they are being misunderstood. A couple’s therapist can teach the couple how to effectively communicate from the heart and mind
Emotional needs are met when the couple can provide each other with a sense of comfort, security, understanding, and love. Some couples after years of partnership/marriage stop engaging with each other. The couple can even feel like they are in a business relationship and push down their needs while feeling lonely. Couples therapy can be helpful in identifying what needs are most important and ways the couple can meet each other’s needs. Couples therapy can help the couple.
Traumatic experiences during adulthood further complicate and challenge couples’ capacities for creating a secure, intimate connection. Strategies that were adaptive in childhood (due to trauma) can contribute significantly to patterns that now increase interpersonal distress. Partners’ behaviors, even those intended to be comforting, may trigger traumatic memories and defensive reactions. Even though most couples therapy models do not consider the impact that unresolved traumas have on a couple/ In trauma-informed couples therapy couples learn about their partner’s history and his/her coping skills that ensued. And seeing how those coping skills. lead to current distress in their partnership. When couples see the bigger picture, they can see new ways to repair rifts, rebuild trust, and re-develop and strengthen communication.
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